All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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