Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
soo... how was my night?
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