i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
