brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize