so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
no, he came in my armpit
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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