i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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