I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
