Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
