In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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