you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
