so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
