Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
