at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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