She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
