I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
what day is it and did you see me today?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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