the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
