Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
