So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
They took my balls.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
