I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
