You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
did you just send me my own nude
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
