i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i've created a new STD.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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