I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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