I wanna bring you to show and tell
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
