Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
