I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
