I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
