funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
