ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize