once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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