I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
