Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
