I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
