FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
