I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
