I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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