so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
