They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
