Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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