Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
