Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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