so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
