doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
time to smoke my breakfast
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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