How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
