how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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