I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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