Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
