After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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