I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
