is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
