hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
