hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
