i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
