I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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