I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
