This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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