question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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