i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
