my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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