First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Found the puke drawer
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
