giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
