Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
