The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Randomize
