i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
