so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize