is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
