You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I want to be your penis for a week.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
