well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
