Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
only if we run a train.
done.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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